7 weeks

I am now only 7 weeks along, and this pregnancy has had more complications than any of my other ones. Well, not really. But it sure seems scary. Today I went to the local women's center to meet the midwife there. Jeanean Carter seems like a great midwife. She has all the qualities and ideals that my last midwife had. I just hope everything will be as great as I am hoping. I still haven't decided for sure to go with her, because I am also considering some midwifes at the birthing center in Allen. Some disadvantages going with a birthing center are: no ultrasound at the midwife's office (which may prove to be an important part of this pregnancy), no overnight stay after the baby is born, further away from doctors if something were to go wrong, more expensive because they aren't covered by my insurance as well. Advantages: delivery outside of a hospital. They are more open to what I want, rather than hospital procedure. For example, with both Sterling and Ginger's births I never had an IV starter, but at the McKinney hospital they make you have one "Just in case". I hate "just in case" procedures. They treat a pregnant woman like a sick woman, rather than something that just natural. Also, they don't allow you to eat while in labor. Again, a "what if" procedure. If they have to rush you off to surgery, there's a chance you'll get sick and have to puke. Therefore, they would rather not have any food in your stomach. Well, the rebel that I am, I have decided that if I do go to that hospital, that I will just have to sneek food in, and eat anyways. What are they going to do? Sue me?

So after the "get to know you" bit of the visit, Jeanean told me that because of what happened March 13th, she had scheduled an ultrasound. I was very happy to hear that, because ever since I had the ultrasound at the hospital and saw the yolk sack, I was still doubtful that I really WAS pregnant. This time we actually saw the baby and a HEARTBEAT! That was so cool. The not so cool thing we saw, was a big blood clot called subchorionic hemorrhage. They basically explained that when the egg was implanting in the uteran wall, that it cause a big bruise type thing. That's why I started bleeding. They told me that several things could happen. First, nothing could happen. My body might absord the bloodclot, and the baby would be fine. Or, maybe I will bleed again, but without any problems to the baby. Or, I could still miscarry. The not knowing part is the hardest part for me. I don't want to stress and worry, because that's not good for the baby either. Even though my midwife told me there's nothing to avoid, my research on the internet got me to thinking that I need to take it easy. No heavy lifting, or straining.

So here I sit, helpless. All I can do is wait and hope and pray for the best. Here's the first picture of this tiny little baby.
In this next one, you can see a large black area above and to the left/bottom of the black area that the baby is in. This black/grey part, is the hemorrhage. As you can see, it's a lot bigger than the baby (5.5 cm x 1.1 cm x 1 cm). The ultrasound technitian said that when the baby is larger than the hemorrhage, there's a better chance of success