Tuesday, December 31, 2013

On the brink of change

It's hard to believe that my little girl turned 12 today. I can remember the day like yesterday, when they told me at the hospital but she was ready to go home with me. I was scared, thinking "can I really do this"? Wondering, but if I do things totally wrong? Of course I have done many things wrong, but overall she has turned into a wonderful young woman despite of it. Yes, she is a typical tween. She can go from Sweet, loving, and helpful. To a little demon, in two seconds flat. I remember when I was 12. Just going from believing my parents knew everything, to thinking I knew it all myself. The coming six years scare me to death, just the same as that day at the hospital when I was able to take her home for the first time. This is when I think to myself, have I done enough? Will she make the right choices for herself? Will she make the right kind of friends, that will help her to making these good choices? And even if she does, will she still make the right choices? Because good friends don't necessarily mean good choices. I hope I can be a good friend to her as well as a good mother. That she will come to me for questions and concerns. And that she will love me, through all of the periods that she might hate me. All the while I think about her growing up, I must remember that she still is a little girl. That is one of the hardest things with younger siblings, the older ones always seem to get the faster. But when you look back at pictures, you realize they were still little themselves. 

As part of each child's birthday, they get to choose what they want to eat that day. Winter requested breakfast in bed. And she also wanted to eat sushi. Again, such grown-up things to want. 
I love this little girl, she is so sweet and talented. She exceeds in pretty much anything she puts her mind to. She is smart, and works hard at school. She excels in music with cello, violin, piano, and any other instrument she tries her hand at. She can be very sweet to her brothers and sisters, and helpful with the babies. My hope for her is, that this time with the small babies will help her to want to become a mother herself someday. And that it will help her see that it is not all fun and games.

Here is to a new start of the new chapter in my life. Scary life of teenagers, but also rewarding hopefully. 

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