Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The earth is round

Everything I ever believed in has been nullified.

The carpet has been swept from under my feet.

I am crushed.

Those are just a few of the emotions I am feeling right now.

This morning started as a very normal morning. I grumpily got up to my alarm. Shuffled out of bed. Poured the kids some cereal. Made lunch. And sat down to check my email.



The shock of my lifetime. My mom informed me that her and my dad are "going their seperate ways"



This doesn't happen to my family! This happens to "those" people. Not MY parents who always taught me you stay together

No.... matter.... what.

This affects me directly. It brings into my mind questions about temple marriage. Not whether it's right, because I KNOW it is. But because I have always fervently believed that temple marriage is forever.


Not until things get rough.

And yes! This comes as a surprise to me. Imagine somebody telling you the earth is flat. Or oxygen is really water, and you promptly start drowning. Or the stars in the sky are just twinkling lights on a big blanket, and there is no such thing as a universe. Something you believe with your whole soul, is not so.

Don't misunderstand me. This is not a judgement on my parents. I don't know the extent of the situation, and I don't want them to feel I'm mad. It's just that my whole world has been crushed to pieces. My foundational belief on the institution of temple marriage, for our family... crumbled away.

The scariest thing is: if this can happen to MY parents, it can happen to ANYBODY!

Even me.

This puts a huge resolve in me, to put in the extra effort in my marriage, where I might have slacked off.

To REALLY follow the prophet's counsel.

To make sure I say "I love you" as often as I can.

To do the little things I know makes Joe happy.

To better myself, so I can be a better wife and mother.

Maybe I can make my earth round again. Expand my universe. Give myself oxygen.

I HAVE to.

For MY sake.


Nancy Sabina said...

I'm so sorry, Jessica. Words are totally inadequate.

Maddy S said...

I'm very sorry. I wish I could be there to give you a hug.

Renee Campbell said...

Jessica I am so sorry girl. This is terrible reading how you feel about this situation. Gosh girl, I'm sorry...my words are not enough I know. We must get together this week.

skideewink said...

you have been on my mind all day, I have even stopped to think and call you. Only to get swept up in my selfish desire to do what I was wanting and not what the Holy Ghost was prompting me to do, call you. So Renee just called...SEE YOU TOMORROW. Get ready to get down and dirty girl. Work is the best activity for frustration/anger etc...(MUWAH!)

angela michelle said...

Oh Jessica, I'm so sorry! I think you have a great attitude in terms of supporting their choices and making sure you keep your marriage strong.

Monica said...

I check your blog periodically, and wept for you this morning. Few words come to mind to comfort you. But I think you have come to the best conclusions - draw closer to the Lord, follow the Prophet and work on your own marriage and family. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!

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