Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Pregnancy #7

Crazy to think that I've peed on a stick 7 times with a positive. 2 of those pregnancies unfortunately ended in a miscarriage, but I strongly believe previous birth control was partly to blame. Even though I'm still nursing Miles, my body was telling me that it was a possibility again to have another baby. Before we decided to become pregnant with Miles, we also decided that IF we would have baby #4, we would also add a baby #5. I didnt' want Miles to grow up as a single child all of his teenage years. So when I got my period, we decided to let fate take its course on WHEN baby #5 would come along. I guess my body and Heavenly Father were ready, because we didn't have to wait at all. It was almost too easy. With Winter and Ginger it took a few months to get pregnant, and with Miles it took years.

I was so excited to find out, and have a peace about this pregnancy. Even though I've gone through miscarriages before I'm cautiously optimistic that this one will result in a healthy baby. Still, even with the planning and excitement comes nervousness and worry. Will I be able to handle another baby? Will I be able to keep the precious relationship that Miles and I have developed strong? How can I give Miles the attention he needs when there's another human being who will need so much more. Sure, I've done it before with Winter and Sterling, but that was so long ago, and I'd like to do so many things different.

After having 2 girls and 2 boys it really doesn't matter what this baby is. A girl would be fun, because they are fun to dress up. A boy would be fun, because Miles would have a brother super close in ago, and they could be buddies. Either way, I'm sure he/she will fit right into the family. And after they're born we'll wonder how we ever lived without them. I'm 6 weeks along now, and keeping it to myself (except of course my sisters and mother in law) until we are a little further along. I'd like to see the baby on an ultrasound and get some reassurance that way that everything looks healthy. Wendy keeps teasing that it will be twins, since I've always wanted twins, but also always said that 6 kids would be way too many. We'll see...

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