A small sad discovery.

As I was reading back on my blog about my last pregnancy/miscarriage to see if I had the same fatigue this early, I made a sad discovery. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that when I found out at 12 weeks that the baby had died, they also told met that the baby had been dead for 4-5 weeks. This was probably the hardest part of the whole ordeal for me. So what I found out today, is that I actually DID have some kind of sign as to when the baby died. At 8 weeks I wrote: "The other day I had a cramp similar to the one that preceded the bleeding, and obviously that freaked me out. Luckily nothing bad happened, but I'm always on edge". When I read that tonight, a lightbulb went off. Although I thought at the time that nothing bad had happened, there's a good chance that that was the exact moment when my baby did die. This is a sad and yet comforting discovery. Mainly because I now know that there was a sign, and not to worry so much now that my baby could die again without me noticing.

On the pregnancy front I am mostly amazed by how quickly I have started to get some of the classic symptoms. Fatigue, dizziness, and change of figure, all seem to have come on strong right at 6 weeks. Luckily I still don't have morning sickness (same as all my previous pregnancies) I've been feeling so worn down, that for a week now I haven't been able to drag myself to the gym. That might not seem like a very long time, but when you're used to working out 4-5 times a week, a week seems like an eternity. Not going, also creates a downward spiral. I'm too tired to go, so I don't. Then I get more tired, and less motivated, and the next time it's even harder to go. Plus, by being so fatigued from doing normal tasks such as grocery shopping, you start to believe that you won't survive a whole hour of intense exercise. Tonight I told Joe to order me to the gym, and am so glad to say that it was fine. I didn't faint. I didn't fall over from fatigue. I actually felt good for the first time in days!